Three years ago I moved across the country from California to Texas. I left my friends and family and basically everything I knew. I had two children, one on the way, and another one we didn’t know about that would join us later.
I found myself without a village.
We moved with a few friends, which definitely made the transition much, MUCH easier! But as I came to understand where I was at in my life, I needed more, I needed that village, that support system and friendships and community.
Motherhood is a lonely place. If you are not careful, you can drift away in your house and not come up for air for weeks.
That is exactly where a village comes in. Women, moms, who come together to reach out to you-text or call to make sure that you do in fact come out into the world again.
So how did I find my village?
Well, three years later I feel like I am just now realizing the village I have here with me. It’s difficult to find that village, and fortunately I have made some great friendships that I can call on and count on.
It’s all about making a choice. I chose to go out there and keep my head up and eyes open. There were days I had to push through the loneliness and open my eyes to see the people next to me.
I had to choose to belong.
Finding our villages is all about choice. Sometimes there are other things that come into play, but the bottom line is we have to choose to be a part of a community.
That may mean going to a mother’s day out program even if you don’t know anyone, or going to a bible study, or joining a neighborhood group even if you don’t know a single person.
I do not like putting myself out there, I am not good at striking up conversations where you become best friends in two seconds. It takes a lot of effort for me to do something like that.
But in the end, it’s worth it.
Find your village. Do whatever it takes.